The last time I posted a blog about the eternal scar us reproductively challenged women seem to be left with, it seemed like I was getting hit left and right with little pangs of reminder pain, if you will.  For example, have you seen the new Gerber commercial?  It is actually quite beautiful.  It shows a variety of women in the process of giving birth.  It’s very touching, emotional, and it really got to me.  I’m sure it gets to the heart of many who watch it.  However, it is quite painful to watch if you’ve been unable to give birth.  Even after all these years, and a beautiful adopted baby girl later…it is still hard for me to watch ANYTHING that is a visual of a woman in labor, giving birth.  I will bet there are many reproductively challenged women who struggle with that commercial, or even change the station….which is what I have to do.

Then there was the premier of a show I watched entitled “Notes From the Underbelly”.  Now I DID realize this might be difficult to watch, but the previews looked so comical to me, that I had to check it out.  I also like Rachel Harris, and she is one of the characters.  I got through the show ok, but it WAS, at times, painful.  So…..I guess it will depend on my level of strength on the night that show is on, as to whether I watch or not.  (I don’t watch much tv…mostly Sprout, Disney and our local PBS Station for kids… other than my weekly favorite…I’m a loyal fan of “Brothers and Sisters”, which actually has incorported an interesting infertility plot.  (Did you ever notice that infertility issues are rarely addressed on television shows?  Unless, of course, it’s a movie that deals with that as the primary subject.)

I’ve heard that the soap, The Bold and The Beautiful is currently addressing the issue of invitro with the incorporation of donor eggs!  Kudos to their producers!  I’ll have to tune into that one.

So it’s just a wound that will never completely heal.  At least I find that to be the case.  But the good thing is….it gets much better, and can be almost gone most times…once your baby comes to you, no matter how he or she comes to you.  My baby gave me my life back, and I hope you all find yourself in that beautiful place (even though we’re all entitled to momentary setbacks for the battles we’ve fought). 

Please feel free to vent to me about what you see or hear in the media that is somewhat insensitive to the reproductive challenged woman.  Love to you all!

Wow!…does time ever fly!! Seems like just yesterday I was preparing for the 1st show…and here we are!…13 shows later!

ALL my shows and guests are very special to me. But I was especially excited to be able to chat with the guest you are about hear, for I knew her story was unique, and had heard amazing things about her. Her name is Deb Tack, and she is involved with an agency that we had gone through for our home study and our post placement visits for our adoption, The Adoption Connection.

Deb has a multi-faceted story that is one for a Lifetime Movie! Not only does she work in the adoption industry, but she is adopted herself. This is the first time on our show that we’ve had an actual adoptee who shares the story of what it’s like to have an adoptive mom AND a birthmom in her life. (Deb talks about why she decided to search for her birthmom, and how that all transpired.)

The three of them share an un-believable relationship, and you won’t want to miss hearing the incredible things they do together! After her father passed away in a terrible car accident, Deb claims that it was as if her BIRTH family adopted her and her adoptive mom! Talk about an unusual, yet beautiful tapestry of family love!!! It is the perfect story to show how rewarding and gratifying open-ness can be in our adoptive lives.

Deb’s story doesn’t stop there. She is ALSO an adoptive mom AND has a biological child as well. We had to split this interview into two shows, as there was just so much to tell! I am thrilled about this show, and I thank her for sharing with us!!

So, we hope you enjoy Part 1 of the story of Deb Tack and her journey…and remember….Part 2 will air on our next show of May 4th. You won’t want to miss it!

Deb has a multi-faceted story that is one for a Lifetime Movie! Not only does she work in the adoption industry, but she is adopted herself. This is the first time on our show that we’ve had an actual adoptee who shares the story of what it’s like to have an adoptive mom AND a birthmom in her life. (Deb talks about why she decided to search for her birthmom, and how that all transpired.) The three of them share an unbelieveable relationship, and you won’t want to miss hearing the incredible things they do together!

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I recently interviewed a woman by the name of Deb Tack.  Her story will be heard on two of my upcoming shows.  It is absolutely movie material.  But one thing she brought up was this: that even though she is a mommy now, and even though she eventually became pregnant, once…she still has moments of pain from the suffering she went through.  The fact that it wasn’t an easy trip like many women have it, is something that still bothers her, at times, today.  She referred to it as an ‘eternal scar’.  

This made me come to terms with my deep-seeded pain that infertility bestowed upon me…and Deb was even fortunate enough to become pregnant once, and deliver a healthy baby.  I have never, nor will ever feel that experience.  And it is something that, though usually buried deep inside, is and always will be a somewhat open wound for me.  I will leave this earth never knowing what it feels to have life grow inside of me…and, if I think about that, even for a brief moment, it does still, sometimes, bother the hell out of me.  And I wonder why this had to happen to me.  And I become angry.  And I think of how different my life would have been, and how different my marriage would have been, and how different my emotional state would have been, if infertility didn’t kick me down to my lowest low and put me into my darkest place for so many years.

 I guess what I’m trying to say is that, now I have this amazing little baby girl, whom I would not be able to live without.  But it’s ok for me…and all of us…even though we may have been blessed by now, to still have those moments of sadness and loss from NOT being ‘the norm’….not being one of the women who says to her friends ‘yeah, we decided we’re going to get pregnant within the next month or two and have a Spring baby’…and then goes ahead and does it.  Those women have NO clue as to what we’ve been through.  And though we don’t want to go around feeling sorry for ourselves…living the ‘victim’ role…we have the right to allow ourselves those moments of silent, sad reflection…we earned it. 

This week is our 12th show of The Reproductive Challenged Woman, and I have myriad topics to share with you!

First, a letter from an egg donor, who not only helped three different women become moms, but is now a mommy herself…but NOT from HER own eggs!!! Her story has an astonishing twist!

We talk about some of the details in getting your adoption profile started. I share a note from an adoptive mom and her creative idea for a gift for her birthmom for Mother’s Day, and a poetic affirmation to help us ALL feel more empowered… more womanly… healthier… and healed… which I am posting below.

Your letters, stories and support of this show, mean more to me than I can say. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, and please keep spreading the word! We can’t have too many listeners! And we can’t have too many stories!!

I hope you are all having a fantastic holiday season! Happy Easter and Happy Passover to you all!

I am the woman who holds up the sky
I’m not at all shy….I laugh and I cry.
Rainbows run through my eyes that are clear
and I am quite near….to escaping all fear.
The sun shines on me as never before
it shines even more…than on any distant shore.
As words come to me, flowers will bloom
and give me more room….to remove any gloom.
As the rain will now fall cleansing my all
I feel rather tall…as I hear a call…
It’s loud and distinct, making me think
inside and out…I run and I shout…
There’s no longer doom…clean is my womb.
For it is revealed…I’m being healed!

On this, our 12th show of The Reproductive Challenged Woman, I have myriad topics to share with you! First, a letter from an egg donor, who not only helped three different women become moms, but is now a mommy herself…but NOT from HER own eggs!!! Her story has an astonishing twist!

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