The coolness of Fall is slowly creeping in, and today Hailey Rose said to me, “Mummy, I’m chilly. Come close to me, because you are my best cuddle friend.” Sometimes the words that come out of her mouth leave me breathless. This was one of those times. And it made me step back and take a moment to recall the dream of this child, the dream of a sweet scenerio such as this…and yet another type of chill that had swept throughout me for close to a decade, while feeling the cold isolation of infertility. ‘But look at us now’, I thought. How far this journey has taken me!

On this, our 48th show, we feel the warmth and sincerity from our guest, Melissa, through her beautiful story and her sharing heart. Now Melissa felt that she would be able to find a peace somehow, even if motherhood never came to her, even though she so deeply desired children. But she didn’t have to cross that bridge. Some of us, however, aren’t quite as accepting. And so we do our best to press onward, leaving no stone unturned, doing whatever crazy thing it takes. And that’s ok. We all do what each of us HAS to do…however we have to do it.

You can’t face infertility without those brutal moments of hell, but we are here to tell you that your hell CAN be turned into your Heaven, and you WILL realize this strong desire that is so deeply seeded within your soul. The key here: you must NEVER give up. Melissa believes we are ALL given some sort of season(s) of suffering. But it’s up to US to choose whether we will come out of those seasons bitter or better.

So take a listen to Part 2, the conclusion, of Melissa’s journey to motherhood and how it has transformed her life.

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Some of you were unable to read the article published in Stepping Stones Magazine.  So since you asked, here it is.  Thank you for the interest.

I found myself unusually early for a dental appointment last Spring. Early is really not my style, so I decided to stop in at Starbucks, which is only two doors away. I ordered my usual carmel apple cider and had a seat. I pulled out my planner, so as to take advantage of the ‘bonus’ time I found myself having. At the table next to me, there sat a woman who looked rather sad. I didn’t mean to stare at her, as she was staring aimlessly into the traffic and hustling people passing by, but I kept finding myself watching her on and off throughout the following 10 minutes. She finally seemed to re-enter reality from her entranced fixation out the window, and she caught my eye. I gave her a big smile. She smiled meekishly back at me, while wiping a tear from her cheek. I mouthed to her, “are you ok”? And she began to cry.

September is one of my favorite months. As Summer winds down, I hope you are having beautiful days, as this new season saunters in. Hopefully, this will be YOUR season…the one you’ve been waiting for…the season of your dreams coming to fruition.

We have a guest with us today, on this, our 47th show, that shares her journey to motherhood. Her name is Melissa, and she tells us of how she had an underlying ‘knowing’ deep within her, very early on, that she would have difficulty conceiving. She talks about the various avenues she had taken and what unexpected turn of events she encountered along the way.

Melissa, like so many women, had been declared unable to conceive for ‘unknown reasons’. One of the most interesting points I find in her story, is that she found out exactly what the cause of her infertility was…but she only found that out once she went through invitro. This is Part 1 in the story of Melissa…another ’sister’ that you can learn from and be inspired by, as YOU continue onward to YOUR baby.

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After my much needed mental ‘time-out’, I am happy to feel refreshed, renewed and ready to pick up the pieces.  I can only hope and pray that K’s family (who was mentioned in the previous posting) can eventually do the same.  The untimely tragic death of this ’sister’ put me into a tailspin of sadness and grief that I hadn’t felt in quite a while.  But she will be remembered dearly, and sorely missed.

I believe many of us, if not most, have found ourselves almost as desperate as K was.  Though it must take incredible courage to do what she did…it takes much, much more to carry on. You ’sisters’ are warriors…true heros.  When you think you can’t face another day on this infertility path, you find it within your deepest self to wake up that next day, and carry on.  Sometimes those days become weeks, those weeks become months and those months become years.  And, with some of us, those years become a decade (or longer).  It is rough, to say the least.  But we can lean on each other as we journey onward.

We need to give this ’sisterhood’ of ours, a name.  Because it (and we) truly deserve one.  But it must be a title with a positive tone.  If any of you have any suggestions, please send them my way.  Shelley Sykes had called us the ‘chosen’.  Maybe we could be ‘The Sisterhood of The Chosen’…or… ’The Chosen Sisterhood’.  What do you think?  Let me know.  Whatever we call ourselves, remember to pat yourself on the back daily for what you are enduring.  And try, please do try, to find beauty and joy in the little things every single day…and especially in yourself.