On part 2 of our next show (which begins airing October 5), our guest, Monica, talks about what happened to her regarding a failed adoption. I don’t mean to repeat myself, but it’s SO true…that when it comes to infertility, the challenges and disappoints we face can seem never-ending on multiple levels.

Imagine this: you’ve had one successful adoption, and you are going for one more to complete your family. Then a baby comes to you, very quickly, and you not only get baby #2, but one of the ways you celebrate this, is as a ‘gift’ for son #1…telling him that, for his 2nd birthday, he is getting a little sister. The son is SO excited, and on his birthday video, there is your completed family…you, your husband, big brother and baby sister!…only to find out that a few days later, birthmom has changed her mind! So every time you view your son’s 2nd birthday video, there is the baby sister that had to ‘leave’! 

Listen to the show to find out what happened next, and how one can get through a failed adoption, but pick up the pieces and go on. We are women of determination, and that is what Monica is! Yes, these things DO happen sometimes…but the successful adoptions happen much more often. Monica was strong enough to realize that THAT just wasn’t her baby, even though she wanted it to be.  She is a pillar of strength and encouragement, and she WON her infertility battle. YOU can too.  

A Happy Autumn to you all! I wanted to post a few thoughts about something that I was reminded of lately, and that is the fact that, even though us reproductively challenged women don’t physically experience pregnancy, we actually seem to go through a DIFERENT pregnancy of sorts. Throughout all of our infertility treatments, our testings, our shrink appointments (not ALL of us, but SOME of us seek that help), and then…for example, in the case of adoption…the paperwork, the organizing of photographs for one’s profile, and the writing of that profile, then the submission, hoping to be chosen by a birthmom, and, of course, the waiting….THIS is OUR pregnancy. We may not have the morning sickness, nor the weight gain nor the contractions, but we have the emotional pain, the sometimes physical pain (ie. surgeries, recoveries, etc.), and the mental anguish. (not to mention the envy and jealousy that can arise that is beyond our control, when we have friends and family members coming out of the woodwork having babies.) And sometimes OUR pregnancies require SO much patience, it’s a damn joke! Some of us go through YEARS and YEARS of pregnancy! But guess what!? We DO finally have our baby. One way or another. If we stay strong and stick to our convictions. And then…we realize our “pregnancy” was worth it all.

Please let me know how YOUR journey is going. Let’s kick this infertility hell in its butt, and find our alternative routes to our babies. You are tough; you are strong; and you are a mommy. Hang in there. The baby you are to have is coming. Keep remembering that. Love and peace to you all.  

On this, our 24th show of Journeys To Motherhood, I am happy to bring to you the first of two shows with a special guest of whom I had the pleasure meeting at a recent adoption seminar.  Her name is Monica, and she not only has a multi-faceted story to tell about HER journey to motherhood, but she is one of the many women I’ve recently met who’s journey has transformed her life in the realm of her livelihood as well. What these little babies do to us and our world is beyond amazing! They have a limitless power that we only realize, once we are ‘mommy’ to them.

Monica is also in the process of becoming a new representative for A Labor of Love Adoptions. She will be able to answer any questions you may have or point you into whatever specific direction you need to go when beginning YOUR research on adoption. She can be reached at 412-266-8839, or feel free to leave a message at that number if not reaching her directly.

So give yourself a well-deserved break, and take a listen to Monica and part 1 of HER journey to motherhood.

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Just a few words from Shola in London that I wanted to pass on to you, so you can apply them… if you wish.  A few added efforts you can make regarding your conception attempts:  1. After making love, stay in bed for a few minutes longer than normal. (This gives sperm more opportunities to reach your egg.)  2. Avoid the use of artificial detergents, tampons and lubricants to achieve the best possible environment for the sperm to thrive.  3. If either you or your partner are taking prescription meds (or even over the counter drugs), ask the pharmacist to check if those could have any effect on your fertility.  {and I find the following two to be quite interesting}  4. Try not to swim while ovulating, as the chlorine may affect the chemical balance of your vagina and wash away any vaginal mucus. (wow!..sorry I didn’t know that to share with you during the warmer months!)  and 5. Saliva can kill sperm, so be sure not to allow your partner to perform oral on you while ovulating.      Yes, friends, it’s true…this infertility stuff can really cause havoc on our lives! (in more ways than one could imagine!)  So just some information to ponder and possibly apply to your attempts at your journeys to motherhood!

I hope you are all having a gorgeous Saturday morning, as we are having here in Pittsburgh. Thanks to all of you who have sent comments to this blog. I am sorry I haven’t had time to respond to each one personally, but I DO appreciate the time you’ve taken to read and to write, and the great thoughts you share.  I love you all, and please keep connected.  Peace.

My guest is Jennifer, twice an adoptive mom (internationally). Jennifer tells us about her experience with Guatemala adoptions, AND she tells us about the unique and flourishing business she has created that allows her to have control of her time and creative outlets, while assisting other adoptive families with what her business provides.  ScrapandTell is a site you HAVE to visit, as I know you will want to share with YOUR children the stories of their lives in this creative and beautiful way.  But we are not ONLY talking about scrapbooking, we are also talking about something entitled Life Books.  Life Books are informative, healthy and, what I would consider to be a necessary tool in the lives of adoptive parents that go out of the country (or not) and get their babies at a few (or more) months old…when a child has had a brief life BEFORE coming into their adoptive homes.  Please check out our chat, as Jennifer shares a wealth of information with us, especially regarding international adoption.

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I was recently reminded of the importance of taking care of ourselves and our inner child, and I wanted to share this with you. Since becoming a mommy, I haven’t really taken too many girlfriend excursions. My daughter isn’t one that’s carted off to a sitter very often. So when my dear friend, Myra, was recently in town, we had an evening that is something I don’t experience often these days…and that’s one, without baby, somewhat carefree, just catching up and treating ourselves. The evening was one spent at one of my favorite places in Pittsburgh…Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens. There is currently an exhibit at Phipps entitled “Chihuly at Phipps.” For those of you who don’t know, Dale Chihuly is an internationally known glass artist who’s work graces the globe. All among the absolutely gorgeous rooms and gardens at Phipps, Chihuly’s glass art is scattered throughout. It is a site to behold! You can view this throughout the day, or do as we did, and see it lit up at night!

After this magical evening (which took us about 3 hours to go through and chat about), I went home feeling refreshed and visually uplifted. It reminded me of when I took in another amazing art show back when I was at one of my lowest points in my infertility struggle.  This time recently, when I awoke the next morning, I could actually feel the resonating effects of the night before, feeling more awakened, relaxed and alive.  That is what happened when I allowed myself to take an evening, back in my dark days, and treated my eyes to beautiful art.  It was a moment in time away from the harsh reality that I was facing regarding my attempts to become a mommy.

When we are reproductively challenged, we have a tendency to dwell day in and day out, 24/7, on our dillema.  At least that is what I had done, as did many women whom I knew personally. 

Please try to give yourself any pampering moments that you can, especially if you are in this infertility struggle. Escape to a gallery, or a spa or a country road…whatever and wherever you find some peace and are able to remove yourself and your mind, if even for an hour. Your health will benefit from it, and who knows?….when you’re not looking, and your involved in what YOU consider to be beautiful in this world…you just might find a miracle at your doorstep as well!