I want to wish you all a Happy Mother’s Day, and a peace of mind, KNOWING that your baby will be with you soon.  Allow yourself whatever it is you need today…to get through the day the best that you can.  Be kind and gentle to yourself.  Surround yourself with love and beauty.  If some don’t understand, that’s ok.  All that’s important, is YOU today.  Love and serenity to you all.  You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

I was perusing through some literature that people had sent to me recently, and there were a few words that prompted me to write, as they are good reminders for us all…but especially for the women struggling with challenges regarding their fertility. 

These particular ones come from the lovely publication entitled Stepping Stones from Bethany Christian Services.  Referencing biblical scripture from Ephesians we are reminded that:  Time is but a fraction of eternity.  Miracles are what they are because they don’t happen every day.  Give your miracle some time.  Remember, God is able to do far more than we ask or can imagine.

And also, from the Psalms: We cannot predict how and when God will bless us with the miracle He has in mind for us.  To some, the miracle may come in the birth of a baby, to others in the adoption of a child, and to others in contentment as a family of two.  In the meantime, sit back in confidence and watch your life unfold.

Sometimes that’s easier said than done.  But if we do what we feel in our hearts we NEED to do, then give it up to God and the universe, we really need to try to feel contentment and joy in other areas of our lives along the way.  We don’t want to miss out on the unfolding of our lives.  I personally felt the absence of joy for many, many years… nothing made me happy, and though I KNEW I had much to be grateful for, I just couldn’t feel it.  In retrospect, I wish I had been more active in meditating on it (as I gave up praying for myself once year 7 had past).  And I wish back then I had been more able to live in the ‘now’.  I would have witnessed more of the unfolding of my life during that decade…as, of course, I will never get that time back.

Once again, it’s easier said than done.  But life goes by swiftly, and we miss out on a lot when we focus on what is missing.  I wish I would have known then, what I tell all of you now.  Just KNOW it will happen one way or another.  No one had ever told me that.  NO ONE.  I believe I would have felt a little more empowered, and a little more hopeful and able to live my life more graciously if someone personally would have told me that, because they had walked in similar shoes.

If YOU had walked in the shoes of infertility, and now have your baby, let the women YOU know personally (who are still battling with their bodies, hearts and souls because they are unable to conceive or carry a baby to term) understand the power of KNOWING.  When we decide that we will have what we desire, no matter what, we create a ‘knowing’.  And that ‘knowing’ can give them a certain peace while they wait.  And just maybe that will help.

On Mother’s Day at some churches, the ushers will hand out carnations to the mothers.  When a woman who longs to be a mother is surrounded by others wearing their carnations, and she does not have one, the pain of its non-presence can be excruciating.  That woman wears her suffering, rather than a carnation.  It would be my wish that any church that practices this ritual would ask ALL women to stand who are mothers, or DESIRE to be mothers, to celebrate them ALL, and to give EACH of them a carnation. 

Mother’s Day is one of the most difficult days of the year for those facing infertility issues.  And if ANYONE should be sensitive to that, it should be the church.  If you know women personally in your church who are reproductively challenged, mention this to your pastor.  Maybe he can incorporate ALL the ‘mommies’.  And if he is an adoptive father, as is my pastor, he will most likely be happy to do it.

The month of April was very rough for me.  Actually, it all began at the end of March.  A series of family illnesses, beginning with my baby girl, including everyone in between, and ending with a serious heart situation for my father, had given me and my health a run for our money.  It is quite difficult to stay calm and stressfree when life throws us for some horrid loops.  I hadn’t felt this out of control…with life…with emotions…since I was in the midst of MY infertility battle.  There were days last month that felt like emotional replays of nightmarish days throughout my long ordeal.  And I was reminded that, no matter how bad it gets, it is important to step back and give it up to God and the universe.  Matters only become worse when trying to take on the weight of the world.  Our backs are only so strong.  Pray our hardest and our best, then give it up, and trust.  What will be will be.  We can only control so much.  We CAN control becoming mothers by deciding NOT to be denied.  But we MAY not be able to control the way in which our baby finally comes to us.  In the end, we realize that the ‘way’ is really not that important…it’s the end result that really matters. 

Happy month of May… which I declare Mom’s Month.  Whether you are a mom, a mom-to-be, or are in that frustrated zone of mother-in-waiting…treat yourself extra special this month, each and every day.  And most of all, take care of YOU.  Exhale, relax, even if in small increments of time throughout your days.  Remember that you are deserving of everything in your heart.  And it WILL come to you.   

When I was reading Jodi Panayotov’s book, InVitro Fertility Goddess, there were certain excerpts that I completely related to.  Actually, quite a few.  And there were some that made me laugh outloud.  Actually, quite a few.  And I want to share one of those with you here.

“Suffered much indignity on Saturday when I had to take freezer/picnic bag of syringes and injectables on drive to the mountains for my husband’s birthday lunch, then along the way had to find a place to be injected.  Pulled over at an idyllic country lane roadside and my brother and his wife went for a walk while we fiddled with syringes, swabs, etc. like a pair of junkies.  Had to pull my pants down and lie face down on the back seat while my husband crouched outside and injected me in each cheek.  It is instances like these that I cannot remotely connect with having a baby, so at least I’m not obsessing, as I feel more like I am in a strange scientific governmental experiment that is more likely to give information on effects of radioactive solution on the human body or a cure for cancer.  I will be very happily surprised if it results in a baby.” 

Any of you who have gone through invitro, and had tried to maintain some sort of normalcy in a social aspect, can probably relate to a time or two (or more) when you found yourself in awkward situations at ‘injection time’.  And for those of you who are in the midst of a cycle, contemplating how to continue on with normal activities, don’t feel like you’re alone when you have to ’shoot up’ in semi-public places.  It’s part of the crazy adventure of invitro that you might find yourself in.  Just do what you gotta do, and think of all of us other ’sisters’ who did the same thing in the quest for baby!  You just might find yourself in the successful percentage, as did Jodi. 

I have been asked by some about the e-book I had spoken of a while back by Shola Oslo, and how to reach her.  This is the only way I know of in regard to getting her information.  Go to NaturalFertilityCures.com.  You can sign up there for her e-mails.  Not to fear, however.  It isn’t that you will be bombarded with e-mail from her and her company.  And some of the emails will have links to videos that pertain to different aspects of infertility.  But if you open the additional page that comes up on her site, you will be able to read quite a bit of information.  That is where you can order her ebook(s).  There’s some eye-opening information in the ebook I had downloaded, and so I would therefore recommend her and her nutritionist’s book, as it is quite interesting and thought provoking.  It has helped educate me in the effect our everyday world has on us when it comes to our fertility.  It has also resulted in some changes in my everyday life that I would have never thought of prior, that have led to a healthier me.  I hope this helps for those of you wondering about Shola. 

And coming a little later, some amazing thoughts and excerpts from my current guest’s book.  Of course I’m speaking of Jodi Panayotov and her book, InVitro Fertility Goddess.  So check that out later today.

I’ve recently encountered a woman that spoke to me of her continuous fear in going forward with her infertility issues.  She told me that everywhere she turns, every option she looks at, whether it be invitro, surrogacy or adoption, she feels paralyzed with fear.  I had spoken before about this being a situation that takes us out of our comfort zone into places we’ve never imagined going before.  But what ALSO gave her great fear, was finding herself at the end of her life, looking back at never having the courage to move onward so that she could experience motherhood, which she so deeply desired. 

One (of many) affirmations I had to keep repeating to myself when I was going through the battle of infertility was this, (and I shared it with her).  Just remember If you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.  It is a mantra we can apply to every aspect of life, but it seemed especially apropos in my journey to motherhood….as I found myself continuously doing things I had never done before…ALL of which were out of my comfort zone.  The fact that many of us had to enter into these uncomfortable places, and have come out victoriously, will hopefully give her and others a sense of peace and sisterhood…knowing they aren’t alone. 

I would be delighted to have you join me as I guest co-host the Mom’s Morning Show on Blog Talk Radio on Wednesday, January 16th and Wednesday January 23rd!  I always have lots to chat about and the show is an awesome daily event that runs from 10:30am to 11:30am EST.  This is Kelly and Tishia’s show, and I’m thrilled that they’ve asked me to join them!  It’s great fun, and quite easy!  Go to the show page (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/momsradio) at show time and click to listen live.  It will launch a page with the audio and chat room.  Or call in at 646-915-8854 to listen and/or chat with us!  We hope to have you there!

Also, I wanted to respond to a question someone had sent me regarding my recommendation of Shola Oslo’s ebook ‘Endo Remedy’.  I love anything and everything I’ve ever received from Shola, and I WOULD highly recommend her ebooks (though I can’t say I’ve been through them all), as I would ALSO recommend The Whole Person Fertility Program by Niravi Payne.  I must have had a brain cloud when I didn’t mention them on my brief list of books as great gift ideas!  But, I suppose we are always needing to buy gifts for our loved ones throughout the year for many reasons….or for no reason at all!…so, those are more for you to consider.  Thank you kindly for the comments and postings you’ve sent my way.  Please keep them coming.  Love to you all! 

Once again, a Happy New Year to you all!  I hope, as we’ve almost come to a close of the first week of 2008, that your year is looking up with promise and hope and much love!  I have heard from TWO MORE women that listen to our show, that are on our poetic prayer chain list, that have found their ways to their babies!!  I will give more details on our next show, as both of them want to take a little time to ‘be sure’ that all is going well, and remains ‘in place’, if you will.  But I am SO excited and happy to have heard about these surprising and amazing ‘little’ miracles!  What a great way to start off the New Year!  As one of these women e-mailed me, “Keep reminding your listeners that they MUST press on.  When it comes to infertility, persistence is the key.  If I was able to hang in there for 12 years…others can do it as well. It is the hardest thing in the world to do, but it will be worth it.”  Just wanted to drop you this note of encouragement.  As we celebrate each other’s fulfillment in our journeys to motherhood, we will find ourselves celebrating our OWN fulfillment before we know it!

First of all, I want to say that I have been very blessed with a plethora of authors sending me copies of their books to read, and I thank you all very much.  Due to the multi-faceted life I seem to be leading these days, I’ve been very slow to complete the reading of some of these books. I usually wait until I’m able to give each one a block of my undivided attention with each reading session, in the order in which I receive them.  From the many books I’ve been sent, I wanted to mention the following: 

The first book is one that I’ve actually just begun, but it is a BEAUTIFUL book that is written in a lovely fashion.  It is very spiritual in nature, and there are many scripture references given. The book is entitled Hannah’s Hope, and the author is Jennifer Saake. As you may know, in 1 Samuel, chapters 1 and 2 of the Bible, you will meet Hannah, a barren woman who experiences deep grief and great anguish. She was suffering from the heartache of empty arms. This book is an inspiration for all who have also suffered, or ARE suffering, from the empty arms syndrome.  It is also a great buy for those you may know of that are on your gift list that you want to uplift and encourage. Hannah’s Hope has been called “a soothing balm for your aching heart”…and that is quite true.  At the end of each chapter, there is a “Burden Bearers” section that gives wonderful words of advice for those also bearing the burden of their loved one’s infertility, who don’t know what to do or say.  This is such valuable information, as what our loved ones say to us during this very difficult time, can make our situations even worse…OR they can help be more supportive in ways and words that they may never have thought of before.  People need to be instructed, as they have NO idea what their reproductively challenged loved one is going through.  You will love this book, and you can order it through the website, which is www.hannahshopebook.com.,  where you can preview Chapter 1. You can also purchase Hannah’s Hope through Amazon.com or through Christian Book Distributors.

For those of you looking for something more on the comedic side, something that looks at infertility and laughs at it in the face, then you will want to check out InVitro Fertility Goddess.  Written by Austrailian author, Jodi Panayotov, it is a book written in a worldly sense, sometimes a bit over-the-top in its humor, which gives the reader some good chuckles, at a time when a good laugh is hard to come by. It is written in a diary style, therefore foregoing conventional composition at times, which may take a moment to get used to.  But once you do, you will get the feel for Jodi’s unique style. And there are times that I can completely relate to the humorous content, and as I was reading, I’d think to myself, “Gee! I thought only I MYSELF had those feelings!”… once again, confirming that we all who go through this infertility ride, at times have very similar experiences and thoughts, and this contributes to our sisterhood. You can order InVitro Fertility Goddess from the website, which is www.invitrofertilitygoddess.com.

I am hoping to have the above-mentioned authors on my show in 2008. I will keep you posted on the scheduling of that.  But I also want to remind you of another book, who’s author has already been on Journeys To Motherhood.  Her name is Patricia Dischler, and her book is Because I Loved You: A Birthmother’s View Of Open Adoption.  I loved this book, and it is a great read for everyone.  If you know of anyone on your gift list that is in a confusing place, finding themselves pregnant and considering their options, it is a truly inspirational piece of work that will help that person see the benefits and the beauty in loving their child enough to give him or her up.  But, as I’ve said, ANYONE would enjoy this amazing story, and its outcome is something to sit back and ponder…as Patricia shows how HER decision of open adoption actually opened her life up to greater joy than she could have ever imagined.  You can order Because I Loved You by going to www.patriciadischler.com.

These are just a few ideas for you to consider for people that you might find hard to buy for…especially if they can relate to a struggle obtaining motherhood.  While there is still time left before Christmas, these are treasured little pieces of literary works that you’ll be happy to give, and your recepient will be happy to receive.  (Or why not give as a New Year’s gift?…giving hope and encouragement for the new year to come?)  In the meantime, good luck with the rest of your holiday shopping!