We are right in the middle of National Adoption Month, so if any of you are considering adoption, it’s the perfect time to get active and pursue this avenue to parenthood! Not only am I an advocate of adoption, but I can’t think of ANYONE whom I know of personally who has adopted, that ISN’T! I can honestly say that the adoptive parents that I know firsthand, including many friends, are all in agreement as it being the best thing they’ve ever done in their lives!

Yes, I know it sounds odd for me to say that 100% of them are happy and thrilled about their adoption choice, afterall, nothing ever seems to be 100%…but it’s the truth! Now that isn’t to say that there weren’t some unusual circumstances for some of these folks along the way that caused some stress and fear but when all was said and done, and they were finally with their babies, the results were all the same…complete joy and a feeling of love unlike any other.

In the latest newsletter from A Labor of Love Adoptions, they make note of many ways to help promote adoption awareness. These are just three of the many ideas they had:

• Buy a few children’s adoption books and donate them to your local library or school.

• Share with adopted children the positive aspects of adoption and tell them the names of famous people that are adopted. Make note of their accomplishments and how special they are.

• Honor your birthmothers by sending a card of thanks and remember them in your prayers.

Yes, we MUST take a moment out this month to thank God for our amazing birthmoms that had given us our incredible gifts of motherhood…for these tremendous sacrifices they made.

And I also want to share with you a writing that was sent to me recently.

“Legacy of an Adopted Child”.

Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives that came together to make yours one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, and the second was there to give it.

One gave you nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you the seed of talent, the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your tears.
One gave you up — it was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,
the age old questions through the years…
Heredity or environment — which are you the product of?
Neither, my dear sweet darling, neither,
Just two different kinds of love.

I wish you all a smooth journey to motherhood…whatever way you choose to go. But if you are considering adoption, please look into A Labor of Love Adoptions. You can find their link and number on our site. They will be happy to answer any questions you may have, and I can think of no one more capable, nor more wonderful than Tina Tyra to refer you to. Call them today, and let me know how your journey unfolds.

I have had people write to me regarding Shola Oslo and whether or not I knew of anyone personally who had had success with her methods, her ‘natural fertility cures’. And I’ve mentioned in the past that I have NOT known anyone personally; however, I’ve had a few women email me saying that they HAVE had success with the FertilPlus supplements and a few also crediting the changes they’ve made in their lifestyles, as suggested by Shola, (especially when it came to going completely organic in the foods they ate). Whether or not the change to organic intake had contributed greatly to their success of conceiving is unknown, though they felt in their hearts it was a serious factor in their success.

In the past two years I have had the honor and privilege to speak with you about some of the most detailed, personal events in my life…those regarding my struggle to motherhood…and those surrounding the whole protracted ordeal. I have had the best time interviewing the most amazing guests, sharing THEIR most intimate details of THEIR journeys to motherhood. And I’ve made great friends with some of you ’sisters’ along the way.

I am hopeful that I have helped in my sharing and my sincere caring. If I could wish one thing, it would be that each and every one of our struggling ’sisters’ who had listened at one point or another, had walked away with a sense of hope, and a sense of connection…an added dose of strength and courage to carry on…to go the distance, doing whatever needed done to get to their dreams. For this is one journey that can feel quite scary, quite dark, quite lonely…and we can feel quite powerless throughout it all. But we have a supportive ’sisterhood’, and we can help each other tremendously.

However, due to myriad personal reasons, (all good I might add), I have been forced to make a decision about this podcast…one that has tugged greatly on my heartstrings. At this time, I am putting a halt to the audio portion of this show, but the 50 shows will remain for review. You can still listen to them all as you had been able to do before.

I’ve spoken many times on this show about having a ‘knowing’. And I suppose I knew a time would come where, in my heart, I would ‘know’ that I must move on, and allow my personal journey of infertility lay to rest. In some ways, speaking about it on a regular basis, may not allow one to completely heal and put it in the past. I don’t know. For the most part, I felt this was a therapeutic journey for me, as well as greatly rewarding. But as of late, I was beginning to feel that now it might be best to let it rest for a while.

I DID, however, feel that I had accomplished what I had set out to do….touch ’sisters’ and help in their journeys…with the exception of K, whose suicide effected me deeply. Of course, there unfortunately will always be more and more ’sisters’ out there that are in need of good words, prayer and hope to cling to, for this demon called infertility doesn’t seem like it’s going to leave this earth anytime soon.

I will continue to post blogs, and welcome any of you to post on this site as well. Any new information or success stories or wonderful words of encouragement that come my way I will gladly forward on to you through this blog format. It’s not to say that I won’t produce an actual audio broadcast here and there, but for now I will be putting that aside.

I welcome you to write to me any time with your updates, your questions and, of course, your celebrations…the celebrations of your final destinations…your realizations of motherhood. And I will continue to pray for you all, and yes, for all my special mentions on the show. We have had many miracles come to women on our poetic prayer chain, and we know there will be many more to report.

Thank you deeply for all you’ve given to me and to this podcast. Please know that I am still here for you, and remain with you in spirit each and every day. I love you all.

I want to let you all know that I am a guest blogger on Mom’s Talk Network! Please go to the link below to check it out! There are many amazing women that contribute! You’ll want to keep this site in your ‘favorites’ and keep up with all the good information and stories the mommy bloggers are blogging about! Thanks in advance for checking this out. The subject is Motherhood Lessons, and I am honored to be a guest!

http://www.momstalknetwork.com/resources/motherhood-lessons-2/791/

Whenever I had to deal with depression, anxiety and frustration throughout my journey, I would wake up each day to the realization that I was STILL going through this hell. And even after 9 1/2 + years I STILL couldn’t believe I was in this dark and miserable situation. But one of the things that helped me when I had to wake up and face each day, was to find music that hit a chord deep within me that charged me up and brightened my spirits…as bright as they possibly could be.

Well, I recently came across a new kind of music by accident. I was watching Jack’s Big Music Show on Noggin with Hailey Rose and this band came on that blew me away. The music not only put me into an insanely good mood instantaneously…but it made me get up and dance around the living room. Hailey Rose said, “Mummy, what are you doing?!” I said, “I’m dancing!” And SHE said, “Ok.” I couldn’t sit still if I tried! It was AWESOME! Afterwards I said to Hailey Rose, “Wow! They were MAGNIFICENT, weren’t they!?” And she looked at me and said, “Yes, Mummy. They were” and continued to eat her cereal.

Well, listeners! They call themselves Nuttin’ But Strings. They are two young brothers that play violins and have created a music that marries classical with rap that is unlike anything you’ve ever heard! I believe they could be YOUR new music, to pick you up and make you dance whenever you feel down and out. I also caught them on the show, America’s Got Talent. Their music makes me feel alive, happy and unstoppable…ways we strive desperately to feel again, when we are seeming unable to, in the midst of infertility. Maybe this music will help and do the same for you!

You can find a sampling of Nuttin But Strings at this link.

Some of you were unable to read the article published in Stepping Stones Magazine.  So since you asked, here it is.  Thank you for the interest.

I found myself unusually early for a dental appointment last Spring. Early is really not my style, so I decided to stop in at Starbucks, which is only two doors away. I ordered my usual carmel apple cider and had a seat. I pulled out my planner, so as to take advantage of the ‘bonus’ time I found myself having. At the table next to me, there sat a woman who looked rather sad. I didn’t mean to stare at her, as she was staring aimlessly into the traffic and hustling people passing by, but I kept finding myself watching her on and off throughout the following 10 minutes. She finally seemed to re-enter reality from her entranced fixation out the window, and she caught my eye. I gave her a big smile. She smiled meekishly back at me, while wiping a tear from her cheek. I mouthed to her, “are you ok”? And she began to cry.

After my much needed mental ‘time-out’, I am happy to feel refreshed, renewed and ready to pick up the pieces.  I can only hope and pray that K’s family (who was mentioned in the previous posting) can eventually do the same.  The untimely tragic death of this ’sister’ put me into a tailspin of sadness and grief that I hadn’t felt in quite a while.  But she will be remembered dearly, and sorely missed.

I believe many of us, if not most, have found ourselves almost as desperate as K was.  Though it must take incredible courage to do what she did…it takes much, much more to carry on. You ’sisters’ are warriors…true heros.  When you think you can’t face another day on this infertility path, you find it within your deepest self to wake up that next day, and carry on.  Sometimes those days become weeks, those weeks become months and those months become years.  And, with some of us, those years become a decade (or longer).  It is rough, to say the least.  But we can lean on each other as we journey onward.

We need to give this ’sisterhood’ of ours, a name.  Because it (and we) truly deserve one.  But it must be a title with a positive tone.  If any of you have any suggestions, please send them my way.  Shelley Sykes had called us the ‘chosen’.  Maybe we could be ‘The Sisterhood of The Chosen’…or… ’The Chosen Sisterhood’.  What do you think?  Let me know.  Whatever we call ourselves, remember to pat yourself on the back daily for what you are enduring.  And try, please do try, to find beauty and joy in the little things every single day…and especially in yourself.

The show that was to begin airing August 22nd has been postponed.  We will continue with our airing of this podcast on the next scheduled date of September 5th, due to myriad events that have occurred within the past two weeks.  I will continue to be in touch through our blog, however.

There is so much to be thankful for in this lifetime.  But when we are facing the trials and tributions of infertility, it seems as if there is nothing to be thankful for. 

I had asked for prayers for two women in particular who were in their darkest hours with their journey on our last show.  Shortly after that show began to air, I had been notified that one of them had taken their life.  This was not only a shock, but one of the saddest moments for me, ever since this issue has come into my life. 

I am taking time to refrain, regroup and re-boot…as this has forced me to pause and cry and mourn and try to exhale.  My deepest sympathy goes out to K’s family and friends.  She was a ’sister’ in this ’sisterhood’ we have found ourselves in, and I wanted you all to know.  If only I had had magical words for her, something to give her that last thread of hope to give her the strength to hold on a little longer.  God has a new angel now, and maybe he can explain to her why.

I want to wish you all a Happy Mother’s Day, and a peace of mind, KNOWING that your baby will be with you soon.  Allow yourself whatever it is you need today…to get through the day the best that you can.  Be kind and gentle to yourself.  Surround yourself with love and beauty.  If some don’t understand, that’s ok.  All that’s important, is YOU today.  Love and serenity to you all.  You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

I was perusing through some literature that people had sent to me recently, and there were a few words that prompted me to write, as they are good reminders for us all…but especially for the women struggling with challenges regarding their fertility. 

These particular ones come from the lovely publication entitled Stepping Stones from Bethany Christian Services.  Referencing biblical scripture from Ephesians we are reminded that:  Time is but a fraction of eternity.  Miracles are what they are because they don’t happen every day.  Give your miracle some time.  Remember, God is able to do far more than we ask or can imagine.

And also, from the Psalms: We cannot predict how and when God will bless us with the miracle He has in mind for us.  To some, the miracle may come in the birth of a baby, to others in the adoption of a child, and to others in contentment as a family of two.  In the meantime, sit back in confidence and watch your life unfold.

Sometimes that’s easier said than done.  But if we do what we feel in our hearts we NEED to do, then give it up to God and the universe, we really need to try to feel contentment and joy in other areas of our lives along the way.  We don’t want to miss out on the unfolding of our lives.  I personally felt the absence of joy for many, many years… nothing made me happy, and though I KNEW I had much to be grateful for, I just couldn’t feel it.  In retrospect, I wish I had been more active in meditating on it (as I gave up praying for myself once year 7 had past).  And I wish back then I had been more able to live in the ‘now’.  I would have witnessed more of the unfolding of my life during that decade…as, of course, I will never get that time back.

Once again, it’s easier said than done.  But life goes by swiftly, and we miss out on a lot when we focus on what is missing.  I wish I would have known then, what I tell all of you now.  Just KNOW it will happen one way or another.  No one had ever told me that.  NO ONE.  I believe I would have felt a little more empowered, and a little more hopeful and able to live my life more graciously if someone personally would have told me that, because they had walked in similar shoes.

If YOU had walked in the shoes of infertility, and now have your baby, let the women YOU know personally (who are still battling with their bodies, hearts and souls because they are unable to conceive or carry a baby to term) understand the power of KNOWING.  When we decide that we will have what we desire, no matter what, we create a ‘knowing’.  And that ‘knowing’ can give them a certain peace while they wait.  And just maybe that will help.