On Mother’s Day at some churches, the ushers will hand out carnations to the mothers.  When a woman who longs to be a mother is surrounded by others wearing their carnations, and she does not have one, the pain of its non-presence can be excruciating.  That woman wears her suffering, rather than a carnation.  It would be my wish that any church that practices this ritual would ask ALL women to stand who are mothers, or DESIRE to be mothers, to celebrate them ALL, and to give EACH of them a carnation. 

Mother’s Day is one of the most difficult days of the year for those facing infertility issues.  And if ANYONE should be sensitive to that, it should be the church.  If you know women personally in your church who are reproductively challenged, mention this to your pastor.  Maybe he can incorporate ALL the ‘mommies’.  And if he is an adoptive father, as is my pastor, he will most likely be happy to do it.

Hello to you all!  Happy May!  And Happy Mother’s Day!….especially to those of you who are mothers-in-waiting.  One of the hardest days each and every year for me, in my 9 1/2 year struggle, was Mother’s Day.  And each year it became worse.

I can only suggest that when the anger, the hurt, the frustration, the envy, the jealousy and the confusion run through your mind, try to find somewhere in your heart to still celebrate.  Celebrate the mother you are going to become…celebrate the baby that may already be working his or her way to you.  Celebrate YOU, and the determination and drive that are within your soul. And I will pray for you all on Mother’s Day morning.

I’ve also decided to declare the month of May as Mom’s Month!  After all…is one designated day adequate to recognize moms?  I think not!  I believe the entire month is more appropriate. So…Happy Mom’s Month from the Journeys to Motherhood show!  And as the creator of Mom’s Month, I suggest you find a moment EACH day in the month of May to do something special for yourself, to find a moment just for you, to take a second to pat yourself on the back, and to definitely eat a bite (or two) of your favorite chocolate.

I recently spent some time with a very dear friend, Myra Falisz, who was in from Laguna Beach, CA.  And on that day, she went with my baby girl and me to a special little shop in the South Side of town called The Bead Mine.  We created the triad bracelets that I had mentioned in one of my recent shows…the three bracelets that I wanted for my birthmom, for my baby girl and for me, for Mother’s Day.  Three bracelets that no one else had, because I had designed them just for us.  We had an awesome day!  Myra and the owner of this fabulous store, Beth Sturm, were dears for helping me greatly in my decisions of color, design, contrast, clips, etc.  (There was more to this than I had imagined!)  I am SO excited to send it to my birthmom!  I really think she will love it!  So thank you Myra and Beth for your input in my creations and the fun time you both made it!

This show is Part 2 of the interview we are airing with our guest, Deb Tack.  I KNOW you had to thoroughly enjoy Part 1, and if you missed it…go back to Show 13 on our Archives page to check it out.  We are picking up where we left off, as Deb begins to tell us about her life as a mom…an adoptive mom AND a biological mom.  Deb’s story never seems to end, with all its interesting twists and turns.  I’ve said it before…her life is a movie waiting to be made!  So sit back, have a cup of ‘whatever’, with extra ‘whatever’ in it, because, after all, it’s Mom’s Month!  And take a listen to the continuation of our story of Deb Tack.

(After Deb’s interview, incorporated in my closing is a very touching e-mail sent to me by one of my good friends and loyal listeners, Alice Gross.  It’s a beautiful writing, a tribute to ALL moms.  I hope you find it as lovely as I had.)

If you want to talk to Deb Tack about possibly having her and her birthmom and adoptive mom speak, please contact her at debtack@earthlink.net.  Put “Me and My Moms” in the subject line, and she’ll get back to you.

Also, if  you want to contact The Adoption Connection for more information, e-mail them at theadoptionconnectionpa@verizon.net.

Welcome, my friends, as we enter May and celebrate Mother’s Month! We are all sisters and whether you are a mommy, a mommy-to-be, or a mommy-in-waiting, I hope you all realize how special and unique you are. I am very lucky to have you all in my life!

My guest this week is Holly, who works at A Labor of Love Adoptions and is also an adoptee. She shares the story of how she found her birth mother and a new extended family but also shares how nervous she was at first and what she hopes will happen in the future.

So rarely do we hear the happy stories of adoption! Not every adoption story is like a television movie with sad endings. Holly’s story is one of hope and encouragement, especially for those of you who are considering adopting but are fearful of the process.

During Mother’s Month, I hope you find it in yourself to remember the birth moms and surrogates who gave the ultimate gift to you…your child. Heart Mark Designs offers cards and other gifts specifically to remember birth mothers. Even a simple gift from you will be a treasured keepsake for a birth mother.

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The month of April was very rough for me.  Actually, it all began at the end of March.  A series of family illnesses, beginning with my baby girl, including everyone in between, and ending with a serious heart situation for my father, had given me and my health a run for our money.  It is quite difficult to stay calm and stressfree when life throws us for some horrid loops.  I hadn’t felt this out of control…with life…with emotions…since I was in the midst of MY infertility battle.  There were days last month that felt like emotional replays of nightmarish days throughout my long ordeal.  And I was reminded that, no matter how bad it gets, it is important to step back and give it up to God and the universe.  Matters only become worse when trying to take on the weight of the world.  Our backs are only so strong.  Pray our hardest and our best, then give it up, and trust.  What will be will be.  We can only control so much.  We CAN control becoming mothers by deciding NOT to be denied.  But we MAY not be able to control the way in which our baby finally comes to us.  In the end, we realize that the ‘way’ is really not that important…it’s the end result that really matters. 

Happy month of May… which I declare Mom’s Month.  Whether you are a mom, a mom-to-be, or are in that frustrated zone of mother-in-waiting…treat yourself extra special this month, each and every day.  And most of all, take care of YOU.  Exhale, relax, even if in small increments of time throughout your days.  Remember that you are deserving of everything in your heart.  And it WILL come to you.   

If you are struggling with infertility issues and need some reassurances, join me this week as I address some concerns from my listeners’ email. Sometimes knowing that others have also travelled your same path and have had similar experiences can help you deal with the emotional pain.

Two big concerns for some listeners are the fear of having a home study for adoption and how to get over the pain of infertility, even after some time has passed. I had these same fears and pain and I hope you can find some comfort in my own stories.

To find reputable case workers and adoption experts who can lessen your anxiety, you MUST do research and you MUST get references so you are not scammed. Finding the right people to work with you will take away a lot of the fear that couples often experience during the adoption process.

Mother’s Day is coming up on May 11th and if you have adopted your baby, please don’t forget to honor your child’s birth mother. They have truly given you the greatest gift of all. If you would like to send a unique birth mother cards, please visit Heart Mark Designs.

As always, if you have any questions or would like to be part of our prayer chain, please send an email to barbara@journeystomotherhood.com Please know that I have total faith that your baby is on its way to your arms.

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I am very pleased to be joined by my first male guest this week!

John Van Regenmorter from Stepping Stones Ministry shares his story of infertility and how it affected him and his wife, Sylvia, differently. He describes his confusion at why his wife would feel the need to see an infertility doctor and he talks about how his male ego was bruised when they found out his low sperm count was part of their infertility problem.

It was only after Sylvia wrote an article about infertility that John fully understood just how hurt she was during this ordeal and he describes his guilt about not being more supportive of her.

You will realize while listening to John that infertility is not just a woman’s problem. Nearly 40% of infertility problems involve male infertility. It’s very important for men to get checked as well so the doctors can have a full picture of what obstacles a couple needs to overcome to get pregnant.

Thank you, John, for sharing the male perspective of infertility!

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Welcome to Show #36!

This week I am pleased to continue my conversation with Jodi Panayotov, the author of Invitro Fertility Goddess and a sister from Australia. I am still amazed at her ability to find humor while longing for a child and we share some very special passages from her book. Each passage touched my heart and I could relate to everything she has described.

Jodi shares her invitro (IVF) experiences, some of which might surprise you. She even managed to overcome her fear of needles and found a way to laugh when faced with taking so many different drugs. No matter what stage you are at in your journey to your child, Jodi can help lighten your mood and your heart!

Also, if you live in the Pittsburgh, PA area and are contemplating adoption, our founding sponsor, Tina Tyra from A Labor of Love Adoptions, is hosting two workshops at the end of March.

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When I was reading Jodi Panayotov’s book, InVitro Fertility Goddess, there were certain excerpts that I completely related to.  Actually, quite a few.  And there were some that made me laugh outloud.  Actually, quite a few.  And I want to share one of those with you here.

“Suffered much indignity on Saturday when I had to take freezer/picnic bag of syringes and injectables on drive to the mountains for my husband’s birthday lunch, then along the way had to find a place to be injected.  Pulled over at an idyllic country lane roadside and my brother and his wife went for a walk while we fiddled with syringes, swabs, etc. like a pair of junkies.  Had to pull my pants down and lie face down on the back seat while my husband crouched outside and injected me in each cheek.  It is instances like these that I cannot remotely connect with having a baby, so at least I’m not obsessing, as I feel more like I am in a strange scientific governmental experiment that is more likely to give information on effects of radioactive solution on the human body or a cure for cancer.  I will be very happily surprised if it results in a baby.” 

Any of you who have gone through invitro, and had tried to maintain some sort of normalcy in a social aspect, can probably relate to a time or two (or more) when you found yourself in awkward situations at ‘injection time’.  And for those of you who are in the midst of a cycle, contemplating how to continue on with normal activities, don’t feel like you’re alone when you have to ’shoot up’ in semi-public places.  It’s part of the crazy adventure of invitro that you might find yourself in.  Just do what you gotta do, and think of all of us other ’sisters’ who did the same thing in the quest for baby!  You just might find yourself in the successful percentage, as did Jodi. 

I have been asked by some about the e-book I had spoken of a while back by Shola Oslo, and how to reach her.  This is the only way I know of in regard to getting her information.  Go to NaturalFertilityCures.com.  You can sign up there for her e-mails.  Not to fear, however.  It isn’t that you will be bombarded with e-mail from her and her company.  And some of the emails will have links to videos that pertain to different aspects of infertility.  But if you open the additional page that comes up on her site, you will be able to read quite a bit of information.  That is where you can order her ebook(s).  There’s some eye-opening information in the ebook I had downloaded, and so I would therefore recommend her and her nutritionist’s book, as it is quite interesting and thought provoking.  It has helped educate me in the effect our everyday world has on us when it comes to our fertility.  It has also resulted in some changes in my everyday life that I would have never thought of prior, that have led to a healthier me.  I hope this helps for those of you wondering about Shola. 

And coming a little later, some amazing thoughts and excerpts from my current guest’s book.  Of course I’m speaking of Jodi Panayotov and her book, InVitro Fertility Goddess.  So check that out later today.

When a couple is faced with infertility problems, the common reaction is to be angry, upset, and confused. Very often women will ask, “Why me?” and question why it seems so easy for other women to bear children when it’s not easy for them.

Getting pregnant and giving birth are supposed to be “natural” and easy, so the idea of months or years of treatments can be overwhelming or depressing. Many women wallow in despair if the infertility lasts a considerable length of time.

My guest this week is Jodi Panayotov who is the author of Invitro Fertility Goddess. She is a fellow sister in the world of infertility and she reminds us that it’s alright to laugh in the midst of our problems.

Jodi managed to take the difficult subject of infertility and turn it into a comedic book. She tells about her adventures as a flight attendant, some good scoops about celebrity pregnancies, and her very own “Alien Theory.”

Rather than travel the path to depression, Jodi courageously transformed her own experiences into funny stories that will hopefully boost the spirits of other women faced with their own fertility problems.

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