A long time ago, before I had even started to try to conceive, I knew of a woman named Mary Beth that had been through many miscarriages. She told me that she purchased a little baby outfit from a baby boutique and hung it out in the open in her house, to state to the universe that she WAS going to have a baby…one way or another.  She wasn’t going to be denied, no matter what it took.

Many years later, when I found out I was going to be facing infertility issues, a friend of mine (ALSO having the same struggle) and I went to one of OUR favorite baby boutiques, and did the same thing. You see, Mary Beth DID eventually get her baby…through adoption, and then 2 conceptions. (I hope to have her as a guest someday, as hers is ANOTHER amazing story!) So Sue and I bought our little outfits, and I went a step further and actually created a little vignette of sorts (or a little alter, if you will), of things I started to collect, or items that had a deep meaning for me regarding my journey to my baby. The woman who owned the boutique actually got to hear the story of my friend Sue, and me, and why we were there (lucky her!). And so she gave us each a medallion…a guardian angel specifically for a new baby that hung over or on a crib. It was silver with an ecru ribbon…very beautiful. So, THAT went in my vignette with my new baby outfit. Two things displayed, showing the universe and God himself, that I KNEW in my heart that this WILL happen, and that nothing else would be acceptable. Well Sue got to her baby before me, (and is going for number 2 now), but my little vignette stayed in place for many years.

I’m writing this, because YESTERDAY, for the first time, my baby girl wore that little outfit. It was a very heart-touching moment for me…seeing her in the outfit that was my first physical claim that SOMEDAY there will be a baby in my life. I just cried when I saw her in it. (It was sized at 24-months…that’s why she couldn’t wear it sooner.) And I thought to myself, no one would ’get’ this moment, except Sue and Mary Beth. But then I saw my husband look at me, and he knew. And then I realized, yes, any woman who is going through infertility issues would understand and know what that moment meant to me. And so, I wanted to share it with you all…and the reminder to stand your ground. You can do this, if you so desire. Kick your infertility in the ass. YOU are bigger than it. REFUSE TO BE DENIED.