…since you asked…
Some of you were unable to read the article published in Stepping Stones Magazine. So since you asked, here it is. Thank you for the interest.
I found myself unusually early for a dental appointment last Spring. Early is really not my style, so I decided to stop in at Starbucks, which is only two doors away. I ordered my usual carmel apple cider and had a seat. I pulled out my planner, so as to take advantage of the ‘bonus’ time I found myself having. At the table next to me, there sat a woman who looked rather sad. I didn’t mean to stare at her, as she was staring aimlessly into the traffic and hustling people passing by, but I kept finding myself watching her on and off throughout the following 10 minutes. She finally seemed to re-enter reality from her entranced fixation out the window, and she caught my eye. I gave her a big smile. She smiled meekishly back at me, while wiping a tear from her cheek. I mouthed to her, “are you ok”? And she began to cry.
I decided to go to her table and ask if I could sit with her. She nodded. I told her I didn’t want to intrude, but felt like she needed someone to talk to…or to just sit with. She cried a little more…then smiled. My keen intuition told me that she was traveling a similar road as I had. I’ve become able to ‘read’ a female’s face, as I’ve sort of taken on an ‘infertility radar’.
She pointed to a woman on the street carrying a baby. She didn’t even have to say anything. I just nodded and said, “I know. I really do know.” She cried again, and I ordered us another carmel apple cider and a latte.
I said to her, “I went through 9 1/2 years of this pain you’re feeling. I want you to know you’re not alone.” Then I pulled out a photo of my baby girl, Hailey Rose, and as I showed it to her I said, “This is the baby I had to wait for, for over 10 years. But she was worth every minute of my pain.” She really broke down at this point. I reached out, and we hugged. I said, “I’m Barbara, by the way.” She smiled through the tears and said, “I’m Sara.”
Sara and I became great friends and she is now considering adoption. I did not try to pursuade her to take this avenue; I just wanted her to know that it is an option she might want to think about at some point in time. Sara and I keep in touch through phone calls and e-mails, as she has moved out west. But we are still quite close, and she knows I am here for her in whatever way she needs me while still on her journey and thereafter.
It is a selfish thing…reaching out to others…because it is more rewarding for ourselves than we’d ever expect. And when you are open to people, you find that the ones you are SUPPOSED to meet, will be put in your path one way or another. God and the universe just operates that way.
Every time I go to that particular Starbucks on the Southside of town, I have my carmel apple cider, and I think of Sara. Sometimes I call her at that moment, or sometimes she’s just with me in spirit. But either way, we are always together at that table at in my mind.
About the author:
Barbara Winters is the creator and host of Journeys To Motherhood, a podcast and internet radio show on Mom’s Talk Radio network. After struggling through a 10 year journey herself, and finally becoming the proud mother of a beautiful baby girl, by way of adoption. Bethany Christian Services played a great role in her adoption, and she was thrilled to have such great people to work with.
Barbara’s hope is to inform, encourage and inspire other women in the midst of their struggles into motherhood. Realizing she wasn’t alone while (going through all of the heartache, anxiety and frustration of infertility issues) was the one thing that kept Barbara sane in the midst of this horrible time in her life. Barbara reaches out to women by hosting guests that tell of their battles of infertility, and how they finally became mothers by various means (adoption, surrogacy, egg donorship, etc.). She also hosts industry professionals that give helpful information in this realm (embryologists, authors, counselors, etc.).
Please check out the show at JourneysToMotherhood.com. You can listen 24/7 over your computer, or download it to your Ipod. Barbara strives to have her show accomplish what the tagline states: Journeys To Motherhood…removing the darkness…revealing the light.



No Comments so far
Leave a comment
Leave a comment
Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>