The carnation and the church
On Mother’s Day at some churches, the ushers will hand out carnations to the mothers. When a woman who longs to be a mother is surrounded by others wearing their carnations, and she does not have one, the pain of its non-presence can be excruciating. That woman wears her suffering, rather than a carnation. It would be my wish that any church that practices this ritual would ask ALL women to stand who are mothers, or DESIRE to be mothers, to celebrate them ALL, and to give EACH of them a carnation.
Mother’s Day is one of the most difficult days of the year for those facing infertility issues. And if ANYONE should be sensitive to that, it should be the church. If you know women personally in your church who are reproductively challenged, mention this to your pastor. Maybe he can incorporate ALL the ‘mommies’. And if he is an adoptive father, as is my pastor, he will most likely be happy to do it.



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The sweetest people at church with a good heart will still make comments such as, “oh, I forgot, you’re not a mother.” They are right but it feels like someone just stabbed me in my heart. Since then, I have only gone to church on Mother’s Day once in the past six years. I do not plan to go this year.
By Cristina on 05.05.08 8:46 pm
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